The Overflowing Cup of Inadequacy

If Jesus were the comedic type, would he walk the streets with a shirt that reads "I'm With Stupid" having an arrow pointing in both directions? Which scripture qualifies this as a thought to be reckoned? Let's see. In the book of Mark, one can find him asking if one of his personally chosen disciples is still "so dull," in the NIV. Another version states it the same but different as you can tell by the language, "Are you so ignorant?" (ISV) Looking at the actual pages of scripture, I keep wondering. It may very well be. One arrow certainly could be reserved for me, and yet he has a predominant sway to draw me near to him. Studying his ways in the Bible tells me that he's not in the habit of making a spectacle of people who are sincere in their search for him, however he's not shy in telling it like it is.

Over the years, as I have looked to him for recovery from the pain I've caused myself, he's reached out his arm and elicited a response of gratitude. In leading me toward the truth of my situation, for there are innumerable aspects I neglect to fathom, the two of us cross arms and head for a quiet place.

The biggest struggle that I seem to face is dealing with feelings of inadequacy. Often times I have a greatly elevated sense of the manner in which my day ought to proceed.  Each day I make grand plans and frequently it evolves into something quite different. Unfortunately, I don't always take a moment to relax in the presence of God and make a request of his opinion on the details of my day. This is where it goes horribly wrong. And so in the midst of my struggle, I give myself a time-out for being foolish. 

Foolish. Up the page a little I wrote about how Jesus asked his disciples how it was that they were still lacking understanding. Hm. In Strong's Concordance, number 801 gives us the Greek word "asunetos," which briefly, means "failing to put facts together." Presently, I'm going to take a moment to sip on the truth that I have great value because of my relationship with Jesus. As an adopted daughter of the King of kings, he loves me no matter what. Knowing that is a real confidence booster because otherwise I'm just not enough. 

There is so much freedom that is given when I take to heart the fact that I AM INADEQUATE. What makes it okay is that God's grace is enough. Tonight I commit to asking God's permission to do, and say, and think. Hold me accountable when he says no. Laugh with me as he finds favor with me.

My cup runs over now because I have sat with you, my Wonderful Counselor. When I sat down with you I was empty. I had nothing left to give. But in your great mercy, you poured back into my cup those things that had been taken away, or given away recklessly. Forgive me, Lord, for my foolishness. Impart to me a refreshing shot of your grace. Design my day for your glory, for you are Alpha and Omega. I need you more than the air I breathe. Thank you for sitting with me, stilling my mind, whispering through the noise that often distracts me so that I may incline toward you to hear your gentle voice. You alone bring peace. I love being in your presence. You have overcome for me. I live with you in me and so I have your authority and power. May I bring your name nothing less than praise. Your arm is long enough to hold me and fight for me simultaneously. You are my hero. You have sweetened the contents of the cup I must drink from.